New Eyes

For the next few days, I have the brief joy of being back in my hometown. The Northwest is where I called my home for 18 years of my life, and returning to it always seems to feel like a cool, peaceful respite. Of course, I didn't see it that way when I left 7 years ago. I remember the claustrophobic-like feelings that caused me to write a paper my senior year in high school which eviscerated the beauty out of everything I laid my eyes upon. I came away from here looking for the world, for bigger skies, and enriching experiences.

And now I gaze upon these hills and forests and flowers with a melancholy sigh. As a visitor from Texas, I came from an area that is brown, dusty, with a hot sun and tumbleweeds to a place that emanates growth. Everywhere there are green hills, forests, valleys. I can drive 10 minutes and come to a beautiful, cold, clear river (so clear I can see the fish). There is so much beauty here, in the Northwest, and I remember how easy it was to take it for granted - to miss it entirely.

Maybe sometimes it takes something harsh and rugged to make me appreciate something so naturally beautiful. Maybe it takes living in the desert to appreciate the coolness of water, the drops of rain. It takes being surrounded by 15 shades of brown for years to appreciate 4 days in a place lit by color.

It has been said that in order to see beauty, we must see what is not beautiful. In order to understand what is good, we must encounter difficulty. It is an interesting idea, a thought to be pondered. I do know that while I am here, I feel as if I have been given new eyes, a new way to see this place. I am awed, while those around me are bored.

I wish I could take just that feeling back with me - the feeling of appreciation for the beauty surrounding me. The ability to see what is special in that which I pass every day. I know there is exquisite loveliness that can be found in the plains. I want new eyes to see that too.





Texas has its rolling plains and endless skies. The sunsets can take your breath away. Washington has white capped mountains, lush rain-forests, and crystal clear waterfalls. I know that there are Texans who will vouch for their state's beauty, and some North Westerners who can't stand the 280 days of rain.





Each creation has been lovingly carved and designed by Omnipotent Perfection, and He is the most Beautiful of All. Jesus, please give me new eyes so that I can see You more clearly, and in seeing You more clearly, be able to appreciate this world in which you have placed me.

Away

I was having a conversation the other day with a person who had an interesting philosophy about life, and about spirituality. His perspective is that relationships between people are whole and complete, but so many of us fall for the deception that we need to be "fixed" or "healed" according to many religious philosophies (Christianity, specifically). This was my response. Any thoughts? Charles, if you're out there, I would still like to know what you think.

Charles said,
"From my perspective, on the other hand, separation is an delusion. We are already connected. We are already whole. We are already in the right place. We are, unfortunately, also too often blind to that fact. We are not awake to who and what we are. We cling to desire and aversion, the roots of suffering, and thus we cling to our false sense of separation."

I really love what you wrote, it was very thought provoking. Here is my response.

I despise this "separation" whether it is a delusion or not. I am the kind of person that truly enjoys seeing the pure happiness of others, and try to live my life in such a way that those whose lives touch mine are made a little better, in some way or another. I honestly and truly want to be a source of help and love to others. I try not to be sarcastic, to put others down, or to discourage people around me. I try my hardest to be courteous, encouraging, enthusiastic, honest, kind, etc., to people that I encounter daily. I do this (to be honest, partly because I know I "should" as a Christian) because that is a part of my soul - the desire to love and help other people, help meet true needs and do what I can to bless others.

However, I am a complete failure. I'm not saying this as I look at God's commands, but I say this as I look at my own soul. As hard as I try to show love and compassion to each and every person I encounter, I constantly find myself turned around the next moment doing the opposite. Not that I'm cussing people out or something, but I get irritated, I pre-judge, I gossip, I have a sharp tongue, I try to manipulate, and I could go on and on. Charles, I hate this about myself! Am I blinded to a reality that I am a prisoner of? I'm not trying to boast, but many people would call me a "good" person - but ah ha! I know better.

I suppose one may diagnose this as self-righteous self-condemnation, or that I derive some kind of pleasure by dwelling on my mistakes, but I can assure you as I sit and become emotional right here at this computer screen that this is not the case. I want to be free of this two-sidedness.

What I'm trying to say through all of this, is that as hard as I try not to, I will eventually push away what is good, but not because I want to. This includes God. And that is why I need Him so much. Maybe this isn't the case with everyone. maybe I've created some "mind-crutch" to help me deal with reality. But I do know that as I've sought Jesus, this inner battle has waned. By learning His teachings and living them, I see that there is hope. And the same Jesus that teaches me to love my neighbor promises that some day I won't have to struggle to do that.

I really am glad that you have genuinely conversed with me about all of this. It has been one of the most rewarding conversations I've had."

Road Rules

As I have been driving around town lately, I have been forced to become aware of the... style of driving in this part of the country. I've been wondering why there seems to be so many people being generally thoughtless toward those sharing the road. Now, I'm not necessarily leaving myself out of this demographic, because I did run a stop sign last Friday that I admit I didn't see.



However, this had me thinking about a much larger issue that may just be a cause of the driving symptoms. This may be just plain selfishness. The symptoms are visible when someone speeds, or cuts another off because he or she wants to get ahead, get to where they are going faster, or any number of reasons. As many of those close to me already know, I am not a patient driver myself, and have many times felt sorry after I was irritated with a fellow motor vehicle operator. But in order to fix the symptoms, the cause must be dealt with, and Jesus does that very well in Luke chapter 10.

Unfortunately, selfishness is something inherent in each of us, as we try to "get ahead" or just survive in this crazy place (although some display it much less than others). The questioner in Luke chapter 10 wanted to appear very selfless, but Jesus knew his motives. The "expert in the Law" knew he had been found out when he showed that he knew the law, and the command to "love your neighbor as yourself," but not wanting to look the fool, he asked a second question: "who is my neighbor?"




Jesus simply replies with a parable. To be brief (you can go read the entire story if you want - Luke chapter 10), out of three men offered an opportunity to show kindness and mercy to an injured man, only the antagonist of the the injured man stopped and assisted beyond what was required.



So who is my neighbor? Effectively, Jesus answered, "everyone". So how does this look in the "real world"? John Piper elaborates on this quite eloquently:

"And with that Jesus cuts the nerve of every merely selfish lifestyle. All our inborn self-seeking is made the measure of our self-giving. Do we seek to satisfy our hunger? Then we must with a similar life-and-death urgency feed our hungry neighbor. Do we long for advancement in the company? Then we must seek out ways to give others as much opportunity and to stir up their will to achieve. Do we love to make A's on tests? Then we must tutor the poor student who would love it no less. Do we hate to be laughed at and mocked? Then never let there be found on our lips a slanderous word, but rather words of encouragement.” John Piper – “The Cult of Self and the Commandment of Jesus”

In my case, I think I have to try to be as gracious on the road as possible, and let others go by, cut in, or even be willing to drive slowly myself, if it helps and advances the cause of my neighbors with whom I share the open road.

That's My King!

My Way Or The High Way

When was the last time you prayed "Lord God, Your will be done" and really meant it? This is a difficult prayer for me. From what I've read, if I truly want God's will in my life, it means giving up things that could be making my life very comfortable and convenient right now. In fact, this is the prayer that Jesus prayed only hours before He was hanging on the Cross. And He knew where the path lead. Paul prayed that the "thorn in his flesh" would be taken away, but God had other plans. When Jesus told Peter what kind of death Peter would die, our Lord said, "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go" (John 21:18).

When I pray this prayer, "Lord, Your will be done," do I really want God's will above my own, natural, of-the-flesh desires? I have to ask myself some questions.

What is there in my life that I know God wants me to pursue less, in order that I may know Him more?

What things are there in my life that are getting in the way of spending time with Him daily in prayer and in His word?

Are there sins I must confess? Habits I must turn over to His strength to break?

Are there attitudes that I must put away because they are selfish and hurtful to others?

Do I seek God and reflect on His Word when I make decisions and choices throughout the day?

God's will is in His Word. When I am struggling to know God's will for my life, I must read His Word, love His Word, seek His Word, pray His Word, and listen to Him. The answer may not be "Yes, you should quit your job," or "Yes, you can have a new car," or even "Yes, you should go on that mission trip." None of these things are necessarily bad choices in themselves, but do we really wait and listen for God's reply?

It may be, "Obey my commands. Love your neighbor as yourself. Do all things without complaining or disputing. Rejoice always. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

My fist instinct is "oh, okay, yeah I get it, now please answer my REAL question, Lord." Or "all right God, that's all well and good, but now I'm going to go ahead and do whatever it was I wanted to do anyway."

However, through reading His word and obedience, our other questions are anwered. Not only that, but God wants so much more for us! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

C.S. Lewis says brilliantly, "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us..."

Infinite joy sounds better to me than a new wardrobe for sure...

How deep the Father's Love for Us - with vocals

I woke up this morning humming this song...
Here are the lyrics:
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

B'day

Cake, candles, presents - all the things expected at a birthday party. The date life began in this world even has it's own special song, even if there isn't always the party or big whoop-dee-do.

Birthdays are precious, usually remembered first by the honoree, next by loved ones, then by various acquaintances... although sometimes it seems some birthdays are not remembered by others at all.

Psalm 139 offers some insight into how truly special each life is in the sight of its Creator. No person is ever forgotten, no day goes by without notice by the One who gives each breath of life.

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord...

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."





What is truly amazing, is that the Lord God who created my life and knows me this deeply also knows each of the over 7 billion people in this world today. Each life is no accident, for there is a loving and caring God who deeply longs for them to know Him and have salvation through Jesus Christ. Not only that, but the Creator who knows them has also known and longed for each soul that has breathed the air on this earth since the beginning of creation.

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone... This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men..." 1 Timothy 2:1,4-5

For however joyous the celebration of the gift of life here on this earth is, it is incomparable to the glorious rejoicing there is in heaven when someone finds forgiveness and new life through Jesus Christ.

Luke 15:10 "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."