Uncovered

"But as he reached the edge of the pool two things happened. First of all, it came over him like a thunderclap that he had been running on all fours - and why on earth had he been doing that? And secondly, as he bent towards the water, he thought for a second that yet another dragon was staring up at him out of the pool. But in an instant he realized the truth. That dragon face in the pool was his own reflection. There was no doubt of it. It moved as he moved: it opened and shut its mouth as he opened and shut his.

"He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on a dragon's hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon."

How many times in this life have I awoke to the realization that I have become dragonish? How many times have I recognized the greedy, selfish, and unkind reflection as I peer into my attitude, my habits, and the way I look at or treat other people. Even today I found myself congratulating a seemingly selfless act one moment, and trying to get ahead of the crowd a moment later.

How many times do I let the cold, lizard-like scales of doubt, pride, or fear interfere with my relationships and prevent me from truly reaching out and meaningfully communicate my deepest longings and desires? They grow up overnight, and suddenly I realize I am eons away from the people I long to be nearest. How many times have I reached out to a dear friend only to feel the cold hard shell blocking my efforts? In a world so full of pain, disappointment, loss, and sadness, it is difficult to understand why we choose to become recluses hiding in our dragon-skin, rather than reach out in love and compassion and mercy toward those around us. We become truly lonely, cut off from the world around us.

More than anything else, I want that relationship that will see me and my deepest cares and longings for what they are and who I am, and will accept and love me anyway. I need someone who understands my fears and brokenness, who will trust me; who I can trust. But I have to tear away the scales for that to happen.

"I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly toward me... It came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. It told me to follow it... So at last we came to the top of this mountain I'd never seen before and on top of this mountain there was a well... The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe... But the lion told me to shed my skin... I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes cast their skin. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means.

"So I started scratching myself and me scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. It was a most lovely feeling.

"But just as I was going to put my foot into the water I looked down and saw that it was all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as it had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to bathe in the well.

"Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe...

"Then the lion said, You will have to let me.
"I was afraid of His claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty desperate. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the skin peel off...

Well, he just peeled the beastly stuff right off, just as I thought I'd done the other three times, only they hadn't hurt...Then he caught hold of me and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it was perfectly delicious, and then I saw why...I'd turned into a boy again."

I need others to tear away my scales. I need Truth that will penetrate my selfish ideas and judgmental attitude and remind me that without Him I am merely a dragon, trying fruitlessly to scrape away my bad habits with more bad habits. Jesus, I need you! Please come and daily strip away the hardening in my heart and create in me an attitude of love and compassion. I know it may be painful, but I know the end will be beautiful in Your sight.

(The quotes are from C.S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treader)