I was having a conversation the other day with a person who had an interesting philosophy about life, and about spirituality. His perspective is that relationships between people are whole and complete, but so many of us fall for the deception that we need to be "fixed" or "healed" according to many religious philosophies (Christianity, specifically). This was my response. Any thoughts? Charles, if you're out there, I would still like to know what you think.
Charles said,
"From my perspective, on the other hand, separation is an delusion. We are already connected. We are already whole. We are already in the right place. We are, unfortunately, also too often blind to that fact. We are not awake to who and what we are. We cling to desire and aversion, the roots of suffering, and thus we cling to our false sense of separation."
I really love what you wrote, it was very thought provoking. Here is my response.
I despise this "separation" whether it is a delusion or not. I am the kind of person that truly enjoys seeing the pure happiness of others, and try to live my life in such a way that those whose lives touch mine are made a little better, in some way or another. I honestly and truly want to be a source of help and love to others. I try not to be sarcastic, to put others down, or to discourage people around me. I try my hardest to be courteous, encouraging, enthusiastic, honest, kind, etc., to people that I encounter daily. I do this (to be honest, partly because I know I "should" as a Christian) because that is a part of my soul - the desire to love and help other people, help meet true needs and do what I can to bless others.
However, I am a complete failure. I'm not saying this as I look at God's commands, but I say this as I look at my own soul. As hard as I try to show love and compassion to each and every person I encounter, I constantly find myself turned around the next moment doing the opposite. Not that I'm cussing people out or something, but I get irritated, I pre-judge, I gossip, I have a sharp tongue, I try to manipulate, and I could go on and on. Charles, I hate this about myself! Am I blinded to a reality that I am a prisoner of? I'm not trying to boast, but many people would call me a "good" person - but ah ha! I know better.
I suppose one may diagnose this as self-righteous self-condemnation, or that I derive some kind of pleasure by dwelling on my mistakes, but I can assure you as I sit and become emotional right here at this computer screen that this is not the case. I want to be free of this two-sidedness.
What I'm trying to say through all of this, is that as hard as I try not to, I will eventually push away what is good, but not because I want to. This includes God. And that is why I need Him so much. Maybe this isn't the case with everyone. maybe I've created some "mind-crutch" to help me deal with reality. But I do know that as I've sought Jesus, this inner battle has waned. By learning His teachings and living them, I see that there is hope. And the same Jesus that teaches me to love my neighbor promises that some day I won't have to struggle to do that.
I really am glad that you have genuinely conversed with me about all of this. It has been one of the most rewarding conversations I've had."
About Me
- Amanda
- I love to travel, eat Thai food, and play soccer. I love Jesus Christ. I live my life the way I do because I am so grateful for everything He has done, and I'm constantly amazed at this beautiful world He made for us to enjoy.
2 comments:
"We cling to desire and aversion, the roots of suffering, and thus we cling to our false sense of separation."
Hmm. I've read this post a couple of times and there is some deep stuff here. One thing I see in Charles' statement above is that it essentially says that we need to cut ourselves off from our desire in order to be happy where we are at. I can't say I've met anyone that desires nothing and is happy. Some people may convince themselves that they are worth nothing or deserve nothing and so lose their desire, but they are also in a miserable depression. Purging oneself of desire is no small or easy task. Is the desire to have no desire really no desire?
I think Charles makes a good point that we are so often consumed with our desires for things that we want (but don't need) that we completely miss and ruin the joy and peace of the moment we are living in.
I believe the Bible teaches that we can redirect our desires towards holiness by knowing and following Jesus.
5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; 7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:5-7
Just as Jesus lived a perfect life by always doing the will (or desires) of God, we too can have pure and right desires when we walk in the Light of God. We can trust God's desires because He is pure light; there is no darkness in Him. Our blessing from this is fellowship with God and forgiveness of our sins.
The more you follow the desires of God, the more your heart will desire the same things as God's does. (I say this from personal experience.)
Peace,
Mark
Amanda, you are expressing the heartfelt truth of Romans 7:15-19, especially 15 and 19. Paul says, "I don't understand my own actions. I do not practice what I wish, but I do the very thing I loathe... For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deed that I do not desire to do are what I am doing."
We know what we want to do and be and we know we don't do those things. Even if we accept what Charles said, that we are already connected, then we also have the weakness he noted, that we are blind to that fact and we cling to our false sense of separation. He sees the need of many to overcome that blindness. Does he think he has overcome it?
I don't agree that we cling to a false sense of separation. I think we avoid connection at some level because of what we fear to reveal to each other. Those things we fear to reveal are where we have failed to match up to the standard of "good" we have for ourselves. At that point we are thinking more of ourselves than of others, so selfishness takes over in our self protection and makes everything worse.
Our connection to others grows when we can admit our failings to others. That admission then opens the door for them to admit their failings and then we reach a point of connection at a real level. We come out from behind our put on mask of "goodness" and can be who we really are with each other.
Love, Mom
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